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Lectori Salutem! or L.S. (Greetings to the Reader!)
Has the lipstick lesbian turned into a tall tale? That moniker once meant something specific and it seems even the girl with the Carmex is calling herself a lipstick lesbian. It seems to me that this word has outlived it’s usefulness and I’ll tell you why. Words are only as good as their definitions. When I was first introduced to the term lipstick lesbian it meant more than just a “lesbian who wears lipstick”. There was a culture that went behind that term. Wikipedia defines it as a feminine woman exhibiting feminine gender attributes (lipstick, nails, skirts, etc.) who is attracted to other feminine women. I was introduced to this termed by my first girlfriend, Leslie in the mid 80’s. She was 30 and I was 18. She was extremely feminine and worked in high end designer women’s wear, wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of slacks, without stilettos and certainly would not leave the house without make-up on. No one ever believed she was gay and between the two of us we were often harassed at women’s bars as being there for the wrong reason. We ended up going to a lot of gay men’s bars to dance the night away among the gay boys who loved and adored the look of two feminine women together.
Not only did our own community abuse us (ever been asked “do you know this is a gay bar?” or been challenged to prove your gay?), the straight world of men was constantly harassing us with offers of threesomes, money to kiss in front of them, and other annoyances.
And that’s where it just started. There was a lot of confusion back then and may still be today on the difference between the term femme and the term lipstick lesbian. A femme is a feminine woman who loves masculine women, hence the relationship know as ‘Butch – Femme’. That has absolutely nothing to do with the lipstick lesbian. She, on the other hand is a feminine woman who loves other feminine women.
In this day and age the clear line of the lipstick lesbian of old has been trampled on a bit by the evolution of the work environment, society as a whole moving to a more casual atmosphere, and a blending of the traditional roles that were once harshly defined as ‘Butch – Femme’. I am by no means arguing that a Leslie no longer exists or that pure ‘Butch – Femme’ relationships are a thing of the past, merely observing that the accoutrements that come with either choice such as every day stilettos, never leaving the house without makeup, and never wearing slacks may have relaxed over the years (I know my rules for myself have and I definitely considered myself a lipstick lesbian and there are days I forget the lipstick!!!!!)
So, let’s go back to the original thesis. Do the words have any validity anymore? When I go round a group a lesbians anymore I don’t see the lipstick lesbian reflected back at me the way it used to be. Hardly anyone is wearing a dress, I am one of the small percentage with a manicure. This doesn’t mean they are not beautiful, stylish, hip, fresh, and feminine women in there own right, by their features and extraordinary amount of money a lesbian will spent on a haircut and color. And most do wear some sort of lip balm, gloss, color, or maybe even the rare dinosaur like me still uses actual lipstick.
So, the word is not so useful in it’s first definition of women exhibiting gender attributes. I think that’s a bit passé. Women are doing things based on fashion and their tastes, some of which has been directly marketed to them, not on some archaic idea of what woman should be unless that is what turns her on.
The second part implied by the name lipstick lesbian is that you are not only a feminine woman but you are seeking the same. I have to turn to the evidence I have seen out there in the world to say that this also is changing and that this class of feminine woman seeking only her mate in kind is dwindling off with the advent of Carmex. As the herd of face painting, high-heeled, finger painted, perfumed, long haired beauties stopped seeing their reflection they eased out of the shallow end and found it wasn’t that bad. There are a few of us hard cases afraid to “sink or swim” waiting to find the glass stiletto that fits the perfect lip-sticked Cinderella. We’ll never know till the last race ends if it was all just a fool’s errand.
So, those are just a few of my thoughts on how the term has evolved and actually has no real context anymore to its Webster or Wikipedia definition. Maybe the new term should be lip balm lesbian!
Much Love.
Inspired by Sappho’s Muse
QUOTE OF THE DAY
As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.
Lea Delaria
What do you mean you don’t believe in homosexuality? It’s not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn’t necessary.
Lea Delaria

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Amanda Simpson appointed to Department of Commerce.
This press release was just sent out by the National Center for Transgender Equality (NTCE)
Amanda Simpson Amanda Simpson, who has served on NCTE’s Board of Directors for the past 3 years, has been appointed by the Obama Administration as a Senior Technical Advisor to the Department of Commerce. She’ll be working in the Bureau of Industry and Security.
“I’m truly honored to have received this appointment and am eager and excited about this opportunity that is before me. And at the same time, as one of the first transgender presidential appointees to the federal government, I hope that I will soon be one of hundreds, and that this appointment opens future opportunities for many others.”
Simpson brings considerable professional credentials to her new job. For thirty years, she has worked in the aerospace and defense industry, most recently serving as Deputy Director in Advanced Technology Development at Raytheon Missile Systems in Tucson, Arizona. She holds degrees in physics, engineering and business administration along with an extensive flight background. She is a certified flight instructor and test pilot with 20 years of experience.

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The violence done on the self esteem of women by the patriarchy is almost so universal it is often hard to grasp it’s full extent.  It spreads from economics to political organizational to religion and philosophy…and the underpinnings of all of those and more.
As long as feminist women use “oppression heiarchies” as the model to understanding all this, we lose.  As in total thermonuclear war, the answer is quite simple, the only way to win is not to play.  Personally I feel it is no accident that history is barely taught today in our schools and ancient history, when covered, rewritten completely to serve the political agendas of the patriarchy.
The logic of men is domination, the logic of women is cooperation.  This basic principle is clear throughout human history.  In political terms male logic yields monarchies, theocracies, dog eat dog captialism.  Female logic give us “socialized medicine”, the concept of the commons for communal raising and sharing of food resources, the idea that many hands make lighter labour.  In theological terms male logic give us gods sitting in judgement and handing out vengence and punishment while female logic gives us universal divinity, Gaia, understanding of the interdependence of all life, ecology.  Male logic gives us subdue the earth, rape it’s resources for our own immediate gain while women’s logic gives us the sense that we have an obligation to future generations and finite resources need to be preserved.
You can find male logic in a lot of women and female logic in a lot of men.  The difference is in style and gross numbers.
To me, a wholistic feminism is one that rejects the entire patriarchal model for Goddess Consciousness which has been slowly reawakening for the past hundred plus years in waves. Socialism, the Suffragettes, the rise in Pagan religious models over Abrahamic ones, socialized medicine, social security, Medicare, foodstamps and Welfare, worker’s comp, green movement, ecology…..these are all reflections of a Goddess awareness, a spirit of charity and cooperation as opposed to the sink or swim, you got what you deserved, no illegal aliens, social darwinism.
It’s feminism on a total global basis.  Can you be against socialized medicine and be a feminist?  How can you embrace a religious model that promotes your own original sin for being born without a penis and be a feminist?  How can you embrace politics that reject common humanity and the obligations not to mention promote the continued raping of the planet to the point it is in peril and still be a feminist?
Wholistic feminism transcends race, social status, physical bodies.  It is an entire way of being and make no mistake, the patriarchy knows this even if we are slow to understand it ourselves.  Think about it.  Those “matriarchies” of the ancient world weren’t, they were equalitarian.  It’s no accident that liberalism is called “effete”.
The women’s studies programs can take us only so far.  The “schools” of feminism are being used to divide us.  It is time to take a wholistic viewpoint, a global one of our feminism.  It’s not part of our lives, it is our lives and that of our children and partners as well.

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What is a Jildo? It’s a wooden dildo hand-made by Jilda. First of all, no, you won’t get splinters from any Jildo you buy and use. I’ve seriously never seen a smoother toy than a Jildo, regardless of the material. Jildos are created from natural wood that is not chemically processed, and they’re shaped on a lathe and sanded with progressively finer grain sanding implements, and then completely sealed with the same food grade sealing finish that is used to coat and protect wooden salad bowls and tongs. After being finished, Jildos are polished with carnauba wax. They’re very, very shiny.
As an aside, in case you were curious, carnauba wax is plant based and is certified as Generally Recognized as Safe by the FDA for food and drug use. Carnauba wax is actually hypoallergenic by nature, and is used in stuff like your run of the mill bumble bee branded chapstick, other cosmetics, and as a coating for hard shelled candies (think M&Ms) and also in the coating on some medications/pills. Part of what makes this wax ideal for use in achieving the high gloss shine on Jildos is that over time, the shine simply dulls rather than flaking off as other finishes do. Vital for a wooden dildo.
The final product is a beautifully shiny wooden Jildo. It’s available in a number of styles, and after the first of the new year Jilda is adding new styles and announcing new price points. I love that the site talks about the history of dildos, and notes that wood is actually a material that’s been used to make dildos for many many years! Like, since ancient times. Seems we humans have always been horny and inventive.
Why buy a Jildo?
If you’re looking for a unique, inexpensive, safe dildo, the Jildo may be just what you’re looking for. Mine is spiral in design and the swirling grooves are interesting looking, but after using it, if I were going to get another I would go for one that is more beaded, something more like the New Waves style. I think, for myself, that would provide more interest than the swirls do. It’s up to personal preference to choose a dildo you think will be appealing. There are smooth ones, beaded ones, ridged ones, galore! There’s something for pretty much every taste, and the wood type varies so you can find something that’ll also be visually appealing.
I also really like supporting small manufacturers who care about their consumers and value the art of their craft, because increasingly everything everywhere is all huge corporations that don’t care about the consumer and are just out to make money. This is the case with Jildos. These are beautiful and functional, safe, practical and affordable.

How do you clean a Jildo?
After each use, wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can also disinfect with alcohol.
What lube is a Jildo able to be used with?
Both waterbased and silicone based lubricants are just fine.
Additional things to consider!
It’s also worth noting that Jilda does occasionally do custom orders, so if you want something you don’t see, drop her a line! Also, and this is cool, she offers refunds if you’re not in love with your jildo. She says she would toss the returned dildo in the fire, but she hasn’t yet had a single return! Not really surprising at all because these are beautiful, excellent, and sure to last a long time.Similar Posts:

TLL Adult Review: Glass Lattachino Double Dildo
TLL Adult Review: Tantus Curve
TLL Adult Review: Spine Tingler
TLL Adult Review: Kama Diva Plug

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cross-posted at Human Race Horses.
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“I just don’t understand why anyone has to talk about their sex lives at work,” she said. “I don’t talk about my sex life at work.”
She was a participant in a diversity class, and the topic of sexual orientation in the workplace had just been raised. As a workplace diversity educator, her statement was one that I’d heard many times before. She didn’t have anything against gay people, she said, but why did they have to bring such a private thing into the workspace? Isn’t it possible, she wondered, to show up, do the job, and wait until quitting time to be gay?
It was tempting for me, someone who has been openly gay in the workplace for over a decade now, to respond with, “well, I don’t know … couldn’t you just show up, do your job, and wait until quitting time to be straight?” But she wouldn’t have understood. To her, and to most of America, being straight isn’t sexual; it’s normal. Being gay, on the other hand, is a different matter entirely. And it is different, I suppose. But not entirely.
 

And so, in situations like this, I tend to take a couple of steps back and approach the situation with a little more gentleness. While it might be oddly comforting and infinitely more satisfying to simply tell this woman off, my goal in teaching these courses is not to emerge victorious, but to create real change.
So, a different approach is necessary. “Let’s say that it’s your first day on the job,” I propose. “And let’s say that it’s very important to you that no one at your new workplace knows for a fact that you are heterosexual.”
And she looks a little confused. Why on earth, she must be wondering, would she want to do that? And her reaction is telling. Some of her colleagues in class give her a knowing smile – pointed, but not condescending.
“Just play along for a minute or two,” I suggest. “You don’t want anyone at your new office to know, for a fact, that you’re straight.” There’s a slight pause, to let the concept sink in. “What do you have to do differently?” I ask. “What steps must you take to ensure that your secret is safe?” And now, she suspects where I’m headed with this, but is still silent. So I make a gesture, opening the question to the entire class.
And the answers come quickly. “You couldn’t discuss your husband or wife,” one participant offers. “If anyone asks what you did over the weekend,” another replies, “you’d have to talk around the fact that your spouse even exists.”
“You couldn’t even talk about your kids,” a young woman in front offers. There’s actually some resistance to this point, as many in the class correctly point out that lots of people, straight and gay, are raising children these days. “Yes,” she offers, “but as soon as you open that door and start talking about your family, it would be really hard not to acknowledge your co-parent at some point. I think it would be better to just leave all that stuff at the door, so you’re a professional and nothing more.”
“What else,” I ask. You couldn’t take personal calls at work. You’d have to take your wedding ring off. (“And how does your spouse feel about that?” I ask. And the class acknowledges that, even knowing the reasons why, that would be a particularly painful negotiation to conduct.)
One gentleman in the back of the class offers, “you’d have to ‘gay it up’ a little.” People chuckle, but I pursue the comment. I ask the man what he means. “Well,” he says, “if I didn’t want people to know I was straight, I’d want to throw them off track a little, you know … act sort of gay.” Even if that’s not who you really are, I ask. Yes, he replies, even then.
Finally, the young woman in front speaks up again. “You’d have to find one or two people at work that you really trust,” she says. “That way, you could tell them and at least feel like someone at work has your back.”
“But this is a big secret,” I note, “and once it’s out, it’s out. I mean, that’s some pretty good gossip right there. So first of all, how could you be sure that these one or two people are absolutely trustworthy? And even if they are, is it really fair to them, burdening them with this secret of yours?”
“Well,” she says, “I mean … well … it wouldn’t be easy, I guess.”
“So,” I say, “this is now your life at work; this is your reality. Are you happy? Do you like your job?” There are no words, but several people are shaking their heads from side to side. “Do you like the people you work with?” Again, no one speaks, but there are more than one shrugging of the shoulders, as if to say that there’s no liking or disliking anyone that you never really get to know. “Now let’s say you’ve been at this job for a year, and your first performance review is happening. Your boss likes your work, but tells you that you’re going to need to do a better job of networking. ‘Building relationships,’ she’ll say, ‘is really important at this company, and people don’t really feel like they know you. Just open up a little,’ she says. What do you say?” And again, there is silence.
“I quit,” says the gentleman in the back. “Like, now.” And again, the sound of chuckling fills the room. But my attention has now turned back to the woman who raised this issue to begin with. She’s not laughing. And I think, maybe, that now she’s beginning to get it.

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I am 17 years old. Soon to be 18. I have a problem. I am a straight girl well that’s what I think. But now I really am not so sure about that. On and off I have always wondered if I was bi and I really think I am. But that isn’t so much the problem. My problem is the fact that I deeply and full heartedly believe I am in love with one of my best friends. Which as you can tell is a girl and a lesbian. I don’t know what to do though. I think we both feel the same but I don’t know…
My heart just leaps when I talk to her and I love being near her. She always makes me smile and our relationship is complicated, we have been through a lot together as friends. But now I just I don’t know how to continue being just friends. None of my friends have any idea that I am admittedly bi. They all think I am straight. Including my five best friends. If this goes anywhere things could really change for me. My family has no idea. One of my five best friends is her ex and first love whom she does not have a good relationship with. Another of my best friends would just freak. And another one of them, I don’t know how she would react because I think she already thinks something is going on. It’s very confusing I know. That’s why I am asking for help.
I know I am in love with her. I can feel it to my core. But neither of us has the courage to tell one another. We keep trying but it’s just not happening. I don’t know how to just admit it and I don’t know what I should do after that? Please I really need advice.

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Last year, my freshmen year of college, a friend of mine told me his friend had a crush on me. I thought nothing of it; I never told anyone about my past relationships with women so there was no suspicion about my sexuality. Anywho, this woman told me and hinted to me time and time again that she was into me. We cuddled, I slept in her bed a lot and a few times I almost acted on my growing feelings towards her. Everyone thought we liked each other but no one ever said anything, she had many boys that she would sleep with but always went back to me and told me she loved me. I never acted on anything until one night, we kissed, we fingered, we got caught. After that night we never really did anything else. I told her I was bi, now I have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend. But she still texts me every now and again telling me she wants to cuddle. We are great friends now, my girlfriend is studying abroad next semester, we are breaking up. What should I do about her? I’ve always liked her.

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Web Link directories are web sites that provide a list of links according to categories. They are comprehensive guides that help Internet users find the best and most relevant information.
The categories in a web directory are divided into subcategories for specific information. Under the category of computers, for instance, one would find several subcategories for hardware and software, the Internet, hacking, ethics, education, computer jobs, algorithms, robotics, and virtual reality, to name a few. Each of these subcategories would be divided further into sites providing more specific topics.
Web Link directories are tools for improving search engine ranking. They direct Internet users to a web site through inbound, one-way links. This is how they help build a web sites link popularity.
Some Web directories are general, containing links about a broad range of topics. Others focus on a particular topic or field of interest. It is recommended to submit to as many link directories as possible to get the best Direct exposure for your web site. While general link directoriesmay be good in certain scenarios, it may be better to use specific directories in other situations. If your website is in a niche topic; using a niche Web link directory can allow you to get traffic that is highly targeted.
Link directories are different from search engines in a way that they are based on submissions and are categorized or edited by humans. Search engines, on the other hand, utilize web crawlers to index web pages. One of the most impressive things about link directories is that they can be created without a large amount of effort. They are much more simple than developing search engines. This combined with their traffic potential has made them very popular on the web.
Web Directories follow different processes for submitting links. Some require registration as a member or editor before adding a url link. Most directories offer free listings, but this can take up to several months to process. If you are willing to pay a fee to get your link added, you will not only get it listed more quickly, but more importantly, your link is sure to be added. While getting your site listed in a popular link directory may cost money, it is well worth it. Most of these directories will give preferential treatment to webmasters who pay to add their link. In addition to this, you will find that your site will begin receiving traffic much faster.
It is always best to submit your link to the bigger and more popular link directories. These put a premium on quality links. Having your site included in such a directory would give it the benefit of being listed as a quality site, as well as ensure high rankings. While there are a large number of ways to build traffic to your websites, link directories have a number of powerful advantages. Your website will become much more visible, and this will allow you to gain larger amounts of traffic. Once your website is gaining large amounts of traffic, you can earn more money through advertising and sales.

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January 2002

The closeted Dr. Weaver is publicly outed by Sandy Lopez on E.R. when Lopez smooches her on the lips in front of her coworkers. “I did you a favor,” says Lopez. Later in the season, Weaver admits that Lopez did her a favor after all.
February 2002

After fawning over Tom Cruise for years, Rosie O’Donnell, with her trademark subtlety, came out during a stand up comedy routine at Caroline’s Comedy Club on Broadway by screaming “I’m a dyke!”
She had this to say about her detractors:
“‘Oh, but you were lying,’ the gay Nazis say. You said you liked Tom Cruise.’ I said I wanted him to mow my lawn and bring me a lemonade. I never said I wanted to blow him! Maybe I’d be gay enough if I ate out Angelina Jolie on TV!”

Listen, I think the FCC can be a little heavy-handed sometimes. See, for example, Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. But for the love of all that is sacred and holy, if Rosie ever gets the munchies for Angelina on national television, I fully support a massive fine to exact revenge for our bleeding eyes.
May 2002

In the episode “Seeing Red” on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Tara is mortally wounded by a stray bullet, effectively ending the longest same-sex relationship between women on network television. Willow is not amused and turns into Dark Willow. Dark Willow pursues Warren, the killer, and at the end of the next episode, she magically embeds a bullet in his body, flays him alive and engulfs him in flames. A cautionary tale, my friends.
June 2002

The Wire, a critically acclaimed show that no one ends up watching but it lasts five seasons anyway, premieres on HBO. One of the main standbys in its vast cast of characters is police detective Kima Greggs, who we learn in the pilot episode is a lesbian and is in a long term relationship with her girlfriend Cheryl. A shooting and a gayby drive a wedge between Kima Greggs and lover Cheryl in a later season. Greggs reacts by dipping her hands into other honeypots. (Sounds like a Baltimore working class version of Bette Porter, no?)

Also in June, Sweden allows gaybies.
December 2002

The Hours is released. Tragic sufferin’ lesbianish women played by a bevy of A-list actresses = OSCAR!

Buenos Aires becomes the first municipality in Latin America to recognize same sex unions.

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Cate and Elizabeth Wirth, a lesbian couple in Vermont, were told by a Vermont district director of the Boy Scouts that they could no longer volunteer for their son’s Cub Scout troop after it became known that they are a couple. According to the Rutland Herald, Richard Stockton, Scout executive for the Green Mountain Council, confirmed, “The national policy of the Boy Scouts of America is we don’t accept gays and lesbians as volunteers.”
This is awful, but given the Boy Scout’s previous history with gay matters, it is perhaps not surprising. (For the record, I also have a serious problem with the fact that the Boy Scouts don’t allow atheists or agnostics to be leaders, either.)
What is interesting, however, and what I hope will stir some discussion among those of you who are around over the holiday, is this comment from one of the mothers:
Cate Wirth said Tuesday that she expects her son to remain in Scouting, despite this incident. And as of Tuesday afternoon, she had not told the boy about the comments.
“I still think Scouts is a good thing for him because he doesn’t have a dad and he’s really drawn to a lot of stereotypical male stuff that Scouting does, outdoorsy stuff,” Wirth said. “I don’t want my personal issues to impact his life in that way. I was concerned if he knew about it he might be uncomfortable going.”
She said of her decision to allow him to continue in Scouts, “Politically, if he weren’t a 10-year-old boy I’d feel differently about it. I wouldn’t support the organization. But his needs come first.”

First, kudos to Wirth for putting her son’s needs and interests above all. I’m not sure I could have resisted the urge to yank my son out of the organization.
At the same time, I find myself uneasy about her words. “Stereotypically male stuff” does not in fact need to be done by a male. That’s one of the arguments trotted out by those who say all children should have a mother and a father, so let’s put that old canard to rest right now. My opinion is that yes, there are certain ineffable things about being male that are usually best conveyed by someone who identifies with that gender (parent or otherwise). Specific activities, on the other hand, should not be so gendered.
If the Wirths are not outdoorsy types themselves, however, that is fine. I’d like to imagine, though, that there are options other than the Boy Scouts for their son—but then again, without knowing their particular location, schedules, etc., it is hard for me to say. Perhaps the Boy Scouts are indeed the best alternative for them. The whole situation reminds me of the many trade-offs we must make as parents. Again, they deserve credit for making what must be a hard decision.
I have to wonder, though: Tanney told them, “We wouldn’t want you pushing your lifestyle on the boys.” How long before their son lets slip a remark about having two moms or accidentally reveals a family photo that he tucked away in his backpack? Would the Scouts go so far as to reject the son of lesbian moms, regardless of his own sexual orientation, because of the danger of exposing other boys to their “lifestyle”?
What would you do in their situation? Do you feel it is necessary to give your children exposure to male influence (or female influence if you’re a gay dad), and if so, how do you do it?

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