It’s started on my first year at boarding school. I just like to stare at a couple of the female seniors. Ok, not just a couple, a lot of them. I know it is wrong, especially, I’m a Muslim. I’m not supposed to feel that way. The harder I try to let it go, it gets closer to me.
I’m not really sure who’s the fist senior I had a crush on. Maybe it’s Jenny. I like her personality. She’s independent, smart, brave & cool. But the feelings toward her just last a month. And then, I had crush on the other person, Nathalie. OMG, I really do like her! She’s cute, smiles a lot, kinda talkative (not towards me), kind and more. But I never really had a chance to know her closer. I’m a shy girl. I don’t know the appropriate way to approach a senior. But I did sent her a letter. And it is still embarrassing when I think about it right now.
Year after year it’s just getting worse. For the first couple of years, I just had a crush towards my seniors. But after that, it turns to the junior. I still remember this girl, her name is Anne. She’s kind a like one of my seniors, Alex. But Alex likes her best friend. We’ve been talking about them. That they were lesbians. But we all know, I’m the real lesbian here.
It doesn’t stop there. The next year, Anne changed school. Her father got a job offer at another country and I didn’t know about that. It’s kind of a disappointment to me. After that, there are a lot of juniors that I had a crush on. I don’t think that I should mention their names here.
One year, at the end of 2006, I had to attend extra classes for a preparation of SPM for the next year. It’s not only for SPM candidates, it also for PMR candidates. That time, I had another crush on a junior. This time, it’s not “she”, but “he”. Since that day, he’s the only one that I like. I’ve been staring at him till the last day in school. I even bought him a jersey. A Manchester United jersey that I bought at Night Market and coast me RM50. I gave it to my dorm mate to pass it to him and told her to told him to wear that Jersey on that night. It was a barbeque that night. Guess what, he didn’t wear it & I cried. I just frustrated. I just wanted him to wear it. It is too much?
After five years at boarding school, I thought that was it. That is the end. But a few month after SPM, I have to go to National Service at other country. Of course I’ve fallen for another girl there. She’s so cute! I love her smile. And I’ve got a friend who also has a crush on a girl there. It’s nice to have someone to share something that I’ve been holding for so long with.
Until now I don’t really have a crush on a girl. But deep down inside, it’s still there. I don’t know how to let it go. It’s getting worse. Maybe because I’ve been single for 20 years already. I just need someone to tell me that it is wrong, it is very wrong! It’s a huge sin! I already know that, but I still need somebody to guide me. I’m afraid that one day, when it’s too late, there’s nothing that can help me to get out from it. Somebody please! I’m begging you!
*SPM & PMR is one of the big exams in my country.

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One of the most common arguments I hear against gay parenting is that same sex couples who want to have children are being selfish. The argument goes that if they really cared about the child, they wouldn't force the child to grow up with two same sex parents instead of a mother and father.
Julie Shapiro, professor at Seattle University Law School, had an interesting take on the argument. She said that the question should not be whether having kids is selfish, but whether it's responsible:
The real question, I think, is not whether a person is acting selfishly but whether a person is acting responsibly. I might want to have a child when I am twenty years old, but if I have no way to support myself and my child, lack a strong social network, and am not reasonably mature myself, then I think my decision to have a child and become a parent would be irresponsible. If, however, I wait a few years, find myself a good job with health care benefits, build myself a support network and so on, I might well be able to raise a child. At that point I might responsibly indulge my selfish desire to have a child.

Julie makes a good point, because the question of responsibility applies to all potential parents, gay or straight or single. After all, heterosexual parents are not necessarily responsible ones. See here, here, here, here, here, for examples.
So are gay couples raising children being irresponsible?
Professor Shapiro suggests that people choosing to raise children are resposible when it's likely that the children will thrive. If it's unlikely, then raising kids would be irresponsible. While opponents of gay parenting might say that having same sex parents is detrimental to kids, study after study find that kids with same sex parents end up no worse than kids with opposite sex ones.
If there's no intrensic harm to kids from being raised by gay parents, then the responsibility question should be answered on a case by case basis for any gay couple wanting to have kids, just as it is for heterosexual couples and single parents.
[Cross-posted at the Gay Couples Law Blog, which discusses same sex family law, estate planning, and taxes.]

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Last night, my girlfriend was packing for a trip to Haiti for work and was trying to decide what shoes to take with her. She grabbed her raggedy old Tevas (the nylon/canvas kind) and started to put them in the suitcase and I yelled, “WHOA! What are you doing?!” She shrugged and mumbled something about heat, humidity and the need for sandals and I pointed out in the kindest possible way that her Tevas have seen better days and by that I mean that I said, “YOU CAN’T TAKE THOSE – THEY LOOK LIKE HELL!”
For those who think I behaved badly, I say that it is my duty to protect her from wearing bad shoes in public. She sighed and then said, “All right, I’ll take my leather Tevas, but I worry that they are too dressy.” Too dressy? Only a lesbian would say such a thing and, to all of you Teva-wearing lesbos out there, I have to tell you that “Tevas” and “dressy” should never be used in the same sentence. Ever.
My girlfriend is not the only one who has fallen into this trap. Today, I heard through the Twittervine (via @debontherocks) that a lesbian was spotted wearing Tevas at a holiday party. I suspect there might have been socks involved as well and, if so, she should have been taken to the town square and tarred and feathered by angry lesbian fashionistas. Listen, I like to wear Tevas every once in awhile too but there is a time and a place for them. Tevas are great when crossing a river to get to a cooler of beer, when paddling a canoe and when going to the Lesbian All Star picnic. Tevas are not appropriate for work events or holiday parties.
A quick note about some other classic lesbian articles of clothing as we ponder this season of parties: a black fleece jacket cannot pass as a suit jacket, dark jeans cannot pass for dress pants and a vest doesn’t magically transform your ensemble into formal attire. Of course, if you want to come out to everybody at a party, then by all means wear all of these things at the same time and let your clothing do the talking for you. Even the densest guest will be able to look at you and say, “So…you’re a lesbian…”

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(Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column, October 2009.)
October is, among other things, LGBT History Month, which makes it the perfect time to write about Gay America: Struggle for Equality (Amulet: 2008), by Linas Alsenas. The book is a history of gay men and lesbians in the U.S. from the mid-nineteenth century through 2005. It fills a much needed gap, not because of the subject (there are a small but a growing number of LGBT-specific histories), but because of its audience: teens.
LGBT histories for that age group have been sorely lacking, consisting mostly of Becoming Visible: A Reader in Gay and Lesbian History for High School and College Students (Alyson: 1994), by Kevin Jennings. (Yes, the same Jennings who is now heading up the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools). Jennings’ volume is useful, but is more a source book than a narrative like Gay America. Both are needed.
Gay America is, like all general histories, more wide than deep. That is not a criticism, but rather a setting of expectations. Those wanting a thorough, academic tome complete with historiographic analysis and footnotes will be disappointed. Alsenas is a children’s book author and illustrator, not a professor, although he did study art history at Harvard. As a synthetic history, however, Gay America manages to pack a lot into its 160 pages, covering politics, culture, relations between the LGBT movement and other civil rights movements, entertainment, the evolution of gay and lesbian identities, and more.
I also like Alsenas’ technique of starting each chapter with a fictionalized scenario that represents the era in question. It reflects his background as a storyteller. For the target audience, it is a good hook, and segues nicely into the more factual matter that follows.
Many will criticize the book for its focus solely on gay men and lesbians. There are only passing references to bisexuality and the transgender community. The lack of the full spectrum is a disappointment, but at least Alsenas is up front about his scope, saying, “Since space is limited, I have focused on the histories of gays and lesbians, leaving out many of the histories of the increasingly diverse groups within the queer community whose stories are tightly woven into the same historical fabric.” One hopes another writer will step in to fill this gap. When threads are tightly woven, it distorts the pattern when some are absent.
Two further omissions stand out. Given the teen audience, I think Alsenas should have included more about the foundation of gay-straight alliances. He mentions the GSA that was banned in 1995 in Salt Lake City, Utah, but says nothing about the roots of this movement in the late 1980’s at Concord Academy and Phillips Andover Academy in Massachusetts.
There is also nothing in the book about gay and lesbian people raising children. Given the teen audience, one might argue that they are not yet interested in childrearing; on the other hand, the children of gay and lesbian parents, who are among the direct inheritors of this LGBT history, may read the book and wonder why they don’t see themselves at all. One could also argue that lesbian and gay parents have played an important part in the assimilation of gay men and lesbians into mainstream culture. That is an important trend and one that warrants a nod in any queer history. (Whether such mainstreaming is good or bad is a separate debate.)
I will not be picky about some of the small things Alsenas left out. As an erstwhile historian, I think it is important to recognize both the need for surveys and their limitations. Many readers are bound to feel he omitted their favorite historical personage or event. The question becomes which ones are essential to the narrative. It is usually fruitless to be too fussy about which persons or examples were chosen to illustrate a particular trend, if the goal is mainly to engage readers in the subject and whet their appetites for more. Alsenas does both well.
Parents and teachers may wish to recommend this primarily for the older teen set. There are some tame, non-descriptive references to the sexual revolution, sodomy laws, and how HIV/AIDS spreads through sexual contact. Middle schoolers, too, may find the historical content of interest, but their parents should be prepared to answer questions about the few vague—but to a young teen, tantalizing—references to sexual matters. They are hardly the heart of the book, though. The oldest teens may find their appetites for LGBT history whetted enough that they will move on to some of the “grown-up” histories recommended in the back, such as Lillian Faderman’s Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers or Neil Miller’s Out of the Past.
Even for grown-ups, however, Gay America is a well written, if high-level, picture of gay and lesbian history that may teach those of us with little prior knowledge a thing or two about our cultural forebears. With a beautiful rainbow cover and filled with photographs, it would also make a lovely coffee table book, but it should make it off the table every once in a while to be read. At less than $20, it would also make a wonderful gift, or a donation to a local school or library.
Philosopher George Santayana once said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Helping the next generation learn a little more about LGBT history may be one of the best ways we have to ensure a more equal future for us all.
I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

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photo editing softwarespy softwarevideo softwareripping programsbusiness software There is no best graphics design tool if you look for all of the factors. What is important here is that you select a software that caters to your full needs. Creativity skills will always determine the quality of the final output and the graphic design program only serves as an aid to make sure it is executed properly.

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Hot:

SexToys carries lingerie and hosiery, too! After receiving this assignment, the Queen Sized Stay Up Black Lace Top Thigh Highs, I agonized over when I would give these a trial run. I didn’t want to just try them out randomly if I didn’t have anywhere to go. Where’s the fun in that? And then weeks went by and I had nowhere to go. Halloween was approaching. I thought, perhaps I would go as Frankie from Rocky Horror. The sad truth is that this did not happen. I could have, I have most of the pieces for that costume, including some truly fabulous silver leather heels, but I was scheduled to work till midnight on Halloween at the porn shop. So, Halloween fell through for me.
But it did not fall through for my brother. My brother had a plethora of parties to attend with his friends who are still at the local college, and had decided to be Eddie Izzard for Halloween, but was still working on his outfit. He was aiming for the look on the Sexie promotional poster. I loaned him a corset and skirt that we both alarmingly fit into quite well, and these thigh highs! What else is a good sister for? He already had the heels, leather jacket, makeup and British accent* for the costume, so it all worked out quite well.
Read more after the jump!

He had lots and lots to say about the stockings. And he took pictures of his legs in them. When he put them on, his initial thoughts were that they stayed up really well and didn’t feel like he was wearing any stockings at all. However, when he came home from partying around, he was singing a different tune. He still liked the stockings, but they’d slid down to his knees from where they had been, very high up on his thighs. He said, more or less word for word, this: “They seemed good at first, if you’re not going to be walking around a lot. However, if you plan to walk ten blocks in heels, be thrown out of a house party, walk some more, get thrown out of the same party a second time, go find your friends, and then walk another zillion blocks to the party where you should have been to begin with, they’re gonna fall down. I suggest garters.” So, the silicone grippies only work for the first few blocks, if you plan to take the party for a long walk, get a garter belt.
He also noted that they’re particularly difficult to tear or cause a run in. He was scratching his calf with the heel of his shoe, and did not cause a run. I’m impressed. Additionally, my brother is a big, tall guy. His legs are more slender than mine, but still thick, and the stockings fit him really well and went higher on his thigh than on the girl in the promotional image on the site and package. I washed them and tried them on myself for size and fit purposes, and I really like them, too. My legs are thicker than his, and while they didn’t go up quite as high on my leg as his, they still fit comfortably enough and could easily be used with a garter belt.
If you’re looking for good quality, inexpensive hosiery, check out SexToys.
*My brother is a theatre geek and all around clever fellow.

sex toys | vibrators
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mac downloadssoftwareantivirusdigital photography softwaremedia software There is no best graphics design tool if you look for all of the factors. What is important here is that you select a software that caters to your full needs. Creativity skills will always determine the quality of the final output and the graphic design program only serves as an aid to make sure it is executed properly.

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On Friday November 27th the Chicago World Can't Wait Chapter went out among the Black Friday shoppers in downtown Chicago to challenge them to protest the continuation of U.S. crimes in the Middle East.  We performed a “wedding” in which the wedding party is bombed by a drone. There have been dozens of these incidents in which wedding parties are bombed by these drones through out Afghanistan and even in Pakistan. Watch the video here of this action http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TByiGFiXIOE&feature=autofb 
On Tuesday evening President Obama will address the American people. He will announce that he is sending 34,000 more U.S. troops to Afghanistan to “finish the job”.  But every person of conscience knows that by escalating this war in Afghanistan he is not finishing the job, but in fact continuing the war crime of a preemptive war of aggression.  For those who are undecided in their stance on this escalation please remember this is no less a war crime than it was under Bush.  Come join protests throughout the country on Tuesday and Wednesday. Chicago World Can't Wait Chapter will be joining others on Wednesday at 5pm to protest this surge. Here is a list of protests happening through out the country http://www.worldcantwait.net/dokuwiki/doku.php?id=start 

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The US Department of Energy Human Genome Project says that the Black race doesn't exist.  It also says that the white race doesn't exist and that there in no basis in the human genome for the belief that race ever existed. This is going to be a huge political debate as the 2010 Census approaches, and Republicans are already targeting Obama about it.
I think this is important, so I've made a widge that directs people toward this new Human Genome Project discovery.
I've made a widget that leads to this page because I think the announcement that biological race doesn't exist is at least as newsworthy as an announcement that there are two moons circling around the Earth.  You only have to Google the words “race” and “moon” to see that “race” is about ten times more important to Americans than the moon, judged by the relative frequency with which we use the word “race” in our print media.
Whether biological “race” exists or not is no mere semantic question, according to the journal Nature Genetics.  They stated in the article entitled “Race and the Human Genome,”
With very rare exceptions, all of us in the US are immigrants. We bring with us a subset of genes from our homelands, and for many Americans, often first-generation but more commonly second-generation, the plural noun 'homelands' is appropriate. From this perspective, the most immediately obvious characteristic of 'race' is that describing most of us as Caucasian, Asian or African is far too simple. Despite attempts by the US Census Bureau to expand its definitions, the term 'race' does not describe most of us with the subtlety and complexity required to capture and appreciate our genetic diversity. Unfortunately, this oversimplification has had many tragic effects. Therefore, we need to start with the science . . .
If a person with one Black parent is able to “pass for white”, does that mean they aren't susceptible to sickle cell anemia. The “one drop rule” would say that they definitely are just as susceptible as everyone in the “black race”, but science is progressing beyond the cultural notions of Americans that are vestiges from slavery.  We can't just guess anymore based on our culture; we are now able and compelled to know based upon empirical science.

I'm asking bloggers to post the widget above, if only because:
1). The 2010 US Census is coming up and there will be debates about “racial” census categories, particularly since this is the first US census since the existence of biological “race” was definitively disproved;
2). The use of terms like “bi-racial” may well be attacked now that genetic science can demonstrate that most people have genetic heritage from various geographic regions across the face of the earth;
3). Based on the new genomic evidence, the US Supreme Court could accept a case requesting a restraining order against Census categories, arguing that there is no “rational basis” for dividing Americans into arbitrary “races” that have no basis in science and the Court could order the Government to use the term “skin color” instead. And so the “racial categories” certainly couldn't withstand the “strict scrutiny” analysis that is required in cases involving the division of Americans based on “race”.
4).  Although many Black people would prefer to ignore the evidence that biological “race” doesn't exist, the journal Nature Genetics has recently stated that the acknowledgement of that our biology is far more complicated than “white vs. Black” is essential to medical care for individuals based on their individual biology rather than based on lumping people into enormous and arbitrary color groups that ignore their individual patients.  In an article entitled “Race and the Human Genome,”
With very rare exceptions, all of us in the US are immigrants. We bring with us a subset of genes from our homelands, and for many Americans, often first-generation but more commonly second-generation, the plural noun 'homelands' is appropriate. From this perspective, the most immediately obvious characteristic of 'race' is that describing most of us as Caucasian, Asian or African is far too simple. Despite attempts by the US Census Bureau to expand its definitions, the term 'race' does not describe most of us with the subtlety and complexity required to capture and appreciate our genetic diversity. Unfortunately, this oversimplification has had many tragic effects. Therefore, we need to start with the science . . .
 
Even if you find the proposition that “race” doesn’t exist troubling, I urge bloggers to adopt the button leading to the Human Genome Project page. It’s essential to our health and the advance of medical science. It is likewise essential to becoming adults whose concepts of culture are based on science rather than having concepts of science that are tortuously twisted to fit anachronistic vestiges of color-aroused culture.

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It really doesn't take much to start a riot. The entire town of Rosewood was razed, burnt, its citizens tortured, hung and shot in cold blood over the obvious lie of a white woman with a white lover she was trying to hide from her husband.It can take as little as police brutality raiding a bar, to set a city like Detroit afire.
Elect a Black Man? Burn a Black Church. Mosques and Synagogues bomb and torch each other so often, its not even necessary to create the links. Just google I/P.
  It is not a far leap my friends, from watching the Film “Rosewood,” which I did with my 10 year old son this morning, to the mobs lead by hate-filled douchebags like Sheriff Joe.

Different costumes, same faces of hate.

Stripping men down and parading them in pink to humiliate them.

How do I explain the sickness in men that makes them inflict these horrors on their fellow man to my son, how do I, in good conscience tell him it is a thing of the past?
How can we, as a supposedly more civilized society than we were at the turn of the century say that this is not still happening?

We are still, as a species, killing people for having differing bloodlines, killing innocent children for being born Palestinian, Iraqi, or Afghans.
We are still in America, killing people like Matthew Shepard for being born gay.

We are murdering children, like Brisenia Flores in their homes for being born Hispanic.

I cannot tell him it no longer happens.
As things turn to shit here in the Land of the Unfree, it is going to happen more.
Rosewood is reality, and we have to be ever vigilant against it.

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