I'm still adjusting to life outside of a “sexy” state. I grew up in the electoral wet dream of Florida. That state is such a tease for progressives. It's always just around the corner for change, with an influx of new yorkers, new generation of cubans and booming urban bastions.
I was also raised in the Empire State, a land often assumed to be more progressive than it actually is, but nevertheless a blue wonderland in comparison to others. It's electoral votes, though diminishing, is still nothing to sneeze at. We're the land of New York Friggin City for cryin' out loud. The birthplace of the NAACP and Stonewall. We're the state that has the U.S.'s first blind governor, not to mention 1 of only 3 black governors in U.S. history.
Now, in my finals years of college, I find myself dating the constantly used and abused “non sexy” land of Washington D.C. My district is very close to marriage equality, with a vote expected to come up in our D.C. council in as little as 2 months. There are other places, states not named California or New Jersey, where the progress on marriage equality is not yet near critical mass like in D.C., but rather there is a slow, uphill, yet steady climb to equality. Yes, even now, in post prop-8 world, we are winning the non-sexy states. Case and point. Iowa.
Granted, Iowa can be pretty sexy say every 4 years, but post-election it has rejoined ranks with the non-sexy states.
Two weeks before the Iowa Supreme Court hears arguments in a challenge to the state’s ban on same-sex marriage, a new poll indicates a majority of people in the state support gay couples, but are divided on whether they should be allowed to marry or have civil unions.
The University of Iowa poll found that 28.1 percent of those surveyed support same-sex marriage, while another 30.2 percent support civil unions, but not marriage. A third of those questioned oppose any recognition of same-sex couples, with about 10 percent having no opinion or refusing to answer.
This is good. Of course it could be better. But this is a great place to be. Day by day, civil union supporters are increasingly exposed to stories like that of Laurel Hester. Laurel Hester can best speak for herself:

Laurel Hester is the subject of a documentary titled “Freeheld“:
At dramatic moments in the documentary, including a scene in which Lieutenant Hester, who lived in Point Pleasant, appears in a wheelchair at a freeholders’ meeting to ask that her pension be transferred to Ms. Andree, sobs could be heard in the audience.
“It was a tough movie to watch,” said Sam Joseph, 49, who lives in South Orange. “I’ve been with my partner for 30 years and it’s always been an issue: What if one of us get sick?”
None of the five Ocean County freeholders, who ultimately voted to extend benefits to same-sex couples, were at the screening.
We're telling our stories. Propositions can be passed, constitutions amended, legislatures capitulate, but out voices only grow stronger. When one asks “where is the movement for marriage equality”, one only has to measure the hoarseness of their own voice. That will tell you the state of our movement.
Iowa is a sign of the progress we have made. We have a broad base of support to work from. After generations of struggle we have supporters scattered across the political spectrum and, combined, they are the majority. Our victories in the coming months, years and decades will hinge on pushing our supporters closer to true equality and also reaching out to those current opponents willing to reason and debate. Our stories are breathtaking and are the best arguments for equal marriage.
Craig Ross, 46, watched the movie with his partner, Richard Cash, 54, for whom he is trying to obtain insurance through his employer, a technology company based in the Midwest.
“I have asked about it, but they don’t recognize civil unions, only marriage,” Mr. Ross said.
 “I wish this film had a happy ending,” Mr. Goldstein shouted to the crowd after the credits rolled. “It does not. Our civil union law is failing; it is not respected like marriage.”
Between the showing of the film and the beginning of the Oscar broadcast, Ed Mather, 66, of Morris County, said he was still working for the right to marry his partner of 39 years, the Rev. Robert O. Kriesat, with whom he attended the screening.
“The goal is full marriage rights,” he said.
Our path to victory may have begun on the coasts, may have found more direction with prop 8, but it will end in the America we often deride with offensive names, or even worse, forget exist.
It will happen with Small Town, Gay Bars, with LGBT people of faith and many others.
Our stories exist not just in blue states, but in every every town, state and region in America.

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They're cleaning up the carnage in Mumbai, a city that seems to get attacked with the frequency of an Israeli border town. For those of you wishing to send condolences, Judaism.com will be forwarding those sent to condolences@judaism.com; you can also contribute to relief efforts in Mumbai through www.ChabadIndia.org
Meanwhile, protests in Bangkok have grown exponentially since the occupation of the Thai PM's residence began in August. Protesters have thwarted police at every turn and taken over 2 airports and now, in what may or may not be yet another coup, taken over Parliament
They surrounded the Parliament building and cut off its electricity, marched on the police headquarters and massed in front of the besieged government’s temporary offices at the city’s secondary airport. By the end of the day, they were reveling in their success. Officials canceled an important session of Parliament and fled from the airport complex, where the prime minister, Somchai Wongsawat, and his cabinet have been meeting in recent months to shield themselves from the protests. NYT
Over to Africa, the death-toll in the second day of rioting in Nigeria keeps rising from sectarian violence between Christians and Muslims.

The fighting began as clashes between supporters of the region's two main political parties following the first local election in Jos in more than a decade. But the violence expanded along ethnic and religious fault lines, with Hausas and members of Christian ethnic groups doing battle.
Angry mobs gathered Thursday in Jos after electoral workers failed to publicly post results in ballot collection centers, prompting many onlookers to assume the vote was the latest in a long line of fraudulent Nigerian elections.
Riots flared Friday morning and at least 15 people were killed. Local ethnic and religious leaders made radio appeals for calm on Saturday, and streets were mostly empty by early afternoon. Troops were given orders to shoot rioters on sight. CNN

The fighting in Nigeria comes from battles over souls and economic growth as Muslims and Christians fight to be the religion that controls fertile land, oil reserves and people, primarily in the Middle Belt.
While Mumbai is the mess getting the most press, we are getting some information about what's going on in Thailand and Nigeria, what is not getting covered here in the US is another religious mess in Egypt where a thousand Coptic Christians are holed up in a Cairo church after 20,000 Muslims attacked them with stones and butane cylinders. (h/t)
 
x-posted at the disenchanted forest

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So we have been going out around 6-7 months, and she recently tells me she is a lesbian. She explained that she hadn’t been hiding it from me, she thought I was attractive at the time, she was in love with me, and still loves me. I support her decision because I know her life is going to be different now, and she needs support. We promised to remain best friends throughout it all, but I am having difficulty finding out what is going to happen. She was my first, as I was hers. We both love each other, and always will. She tells me I will have been the last and only guy she has ever been with, but I don’t want things to end like this.
She goes off to college in about 6 months and I want to do everything we have been doing in the past with her until she has to go. I realize I have to get over her romantically, but I want to make love with her in the future. My opinion is if we both love each other, and care for each other as much as we displayed in the past, it makes sense. I know I can treat her body how it deserves to be treated, and because she is my best friend, I feel like we can have “fun” times with each other, and we have no reason not to. Is it possible to be friends with benefits with your love who has turned lesbian?

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Something that I've read several times on the various blogs I visit since the passage of Prop. 8 is “Where are our gay and lesbian leaders?” It seems that people are looking for their “own Martin Luther King” or a “new Harvey Milk” to step forward and inspire a movement.
However, is that really what we need? Perhaps it is better to have leaders who work hard within our local and state governments to bring about the change we need.
A few weeks ago, Cliff and I attended an ACLU awards luncheon given in honor of California State Assembly member John Laird for his service to the LGBT community. We had the pleasure of hearing Laird speak about what it has been like to be one of a few openly gay elected representatives in state government thoughout the United States. He also spoke about the impressive amount of work he has done in Sacramento over the last six years.
Laird has been credited for authoring 82 bills that have been signed into law. Many of those laws had to do with equal rights protections. Laird is responsible for updating all of the old state laws regarding discrimination to include sexual orientation. He also made it possible to update all of the laws at once when new groups are given protected status in the future.
Today's Salinas Caifornian has an article about Laird and his accomplishments:
For Laird, a time to reflectSanta Cruz lawmaker leaves Assembly after six years
By JAKE HENSHAW • The Salinas Californian Capitol Bureau • November 29, 2008
SACRAMENTO - It's been a busy - and funny - six years for John Laird in Sacramento, even for a man who arrived after more than 20 years in the rough and tumble world of Central Coast politics.
Assemblyman Laird plunged quickly into the turbulent life of the Capitol, introducing bills on issues from water and the environment to Monterey County housing and a Fort Ord veteran's cemetery before his seat was termed out this year.
It hardly stood out that he was one of the first two openly gay men elected to the Legislature. But Laird, a Democrat from Santa Cruz, did launch a successful campaign to enact a series of bills aimed at more broadly protecting gays and others from discrimination. 
Continue reading… 

Laird isn't the type of leader that people are likely to worship and admire like a Martin Luther King or a Harvey Milk. He's simply a man who works hard to get things done and can inspire others to do the same.
I suggest that instead of waiting for a leader with a magnetic personality and the power to motivate millions, we all look for those among us who are capable of creating change — however, slow and unglamorous that may appear.
Related articles:

Gay icon yields lessons after 30 years
Steven Petrow: Does the long arc of history bend toward justice? Just look at last week's gay-bashing at the polls

Crossposted at On the Fritz.

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The good people of Kentucky elect idiots who feel no need to abide by things most cognitively enabled American's hold sacred and are, obviously, incapable of understanding that which gives them their freedoms
Among the requirements of the 2006 anti-terror law is that a plaque be placed in the department's Emergency Operations Center. Part of the statement on the plaque reads: “The safety and security of the Commonwealth cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Almighty God.”
Of course these are the people who voted George Bush to be President most likely because, even as Governor of Texas, he made it abundantly clear that he had no intentions of respecting the US Constitution or the rights of anyone who does.
 
x-posted at the disenchanted forest

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ciao ciao
Carolyn - http://carolyn-blog.com

http://rpc.technorati.com/rpc/ping

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Whether you are sitting at the bar in your favorite lesbian nightclub sipping your overly-priced microbrew or at the local gym lifting more than two Shane look-a-likes on the bench press, there is one thing you know for certain, no one really knows the “real” you. Lesbians love to be a mystery. It’s our drug of choice.
Because of all the drama and the thousand suitcases you have taken from the hook-ups, make-ups, one-nighters, u-haulers, and closet-cases you have dated, no one ever really knows the real you. Yet, you know who you are and just don’t understand why you “haven’t really connected to anyone before” even though you have a friend and ex-base spanning 34 counties and 2 countries that don’t border the United States.
You know who you are. You have a wallet with frequent sipper cards to all the local coffee shops, business cards to multiple therapists that have been recommended to you, credit cards which have been cancelled, and that condom from way back when you thought you could have been straight for a day because “no lesbians understand me.” You often wear your hoodie up, have myspace pages listing you as complicated, and all of your profiles go from private to public depending on your mood and relationship status. You also add people, send them a message saying you would like to get to know them better because they “sound cool,” but when they send you a reply, you tell your friends how someone added you to their page and now won’t leave you alone. You don’t understand why they are so “needy” or “clingy” already. You smoke, drink, have random sex, because you don’t like to settle down. You also choose to use “quotation marks” to surround every moniker you have given to mark how “no one understands you.”
While you constantly complain that your last girlfriend didn’t “get you,” you continue to keep your invisible force-field up because lesbians are crazy. You yearn to be a mystery to those around you. No one knows where you live, where you are originally from, where you like to go, or what food, drink, clothing, etc., you really love. After all, if you actually told them any of that, they wouldn’t really care, would they?
You also like to be a mystery because you think it’s hot and women like someone playing hard-to-get. This is a careful line to balance on, as you could just be considered a jackass instead of a mystery. Walking that line is the most important step in the process, as women like someone who doesn’t treat them well, especially ______ lesbians. So, you sip your drink at the local coffee shop writing poetry about how you are a mystery, texting on your phone about how there are no sane women in the world to your lesbian friends (whom have dated you at one point in their lives), and you yearn to find the girl who isn’t clingy, doesn’t need meds, and understands that you are a sensitive person who is a lot better than all the other women in the world. You just wish someone could see the “real” you.
The careful thing to note is you do all of these things in order to get the girl who “doesn’t get you.”

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I don't know why this story caught my eye. Maybe it's that bigots don't pay attention to warning signs that they're behavior is just not going to be tolerated anymore.
A British police officer who sent emails to other officers condemning homosexuality and calling for gays to seek the help of a controversial American Christian group that claims to “cure” gays has been fired for misconduct.
Constable Graham Cogman, 49, accused the Norfolk police of promoting gay rights over religious beliefs. The emails contained biblical quotes and in one mailing said ”love the sinner hate the deed” after calling homosexuality “sinful.”
I mean honestly, can you imagine having to work with this guy? He's in your office so you feel obligated to open his e-mails lest, if hell froze over, his e-mail actually FOR ONCE was business related.
I think we all have friends who feel the need to forward every youtube link, wingnut rant or conspiracy theory they happen to come across to their entire contact list. This man ranks up there with that elusive “Prince from Nigeria”, Viagra ads and webcam hookup requests.
Grab some popcorn, the details will amuse you.
Another email espoused the so-called “ex-gay” movement and said there was scientific evidence homosexuality was a matter of choice that could be cured. As evidence, he cited a U.S. group that has been discredited by both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association.
Cogman used police department computers to send the emails, and began his campaign two years ago after the force’s gay liaison unit circulated an email encouraging staff to wear a pink ribbon on uniforms during Gay History Month.
Cogman was ordered to stop sending “offensive mailings” using police computers. But the following year, he stepped up his campaign after the liaison unit asked officers to wear a rainbow ribbon during gay pride.
What part of this is being not appropriate for work did he not understand? It is very clear that his workplace was attempting to create a very inclusive and affirming environment for LGBT people. Did he not get that memo?
He also was accused of victimizing a gay liaison officer.
An internal police tribunal this week found Cogman guilty of failing to comply with a lawful order over the use of police computers and with failing to treat a colleague with respect and tolerance.
“This officer’s behavior fell well below what we expect of our people. We require an absolute commitment from all our staff to treat colleagues with politeness, tolerance and respect, regardless of their beliefs, race, age, gender or sexual orientation.”
3 cheers for another wingnut taken out of a seat of power and influence. Hip Hip, HOORAY!

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“A symbol of equality… because everyone should be able to tie the knot.”
WhiteKnot.org
From the NY Times:
“The knots were created two weeks ago by a Los Angeles gay marriage advocate as a response to Proposition 8, which repealed the right for gay men and lesbians to marry in California. Frank Voci, whose primary job is running a consultancy for interactive media companies, said he got the idea after protests died down. His ultimate goal: to use a Web site (whiteknot.org) to recruit people sympathetic to the cause in less liberal locales.
“We needed a symbol, something to keep the conversation going,” he said.”
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/26/another-cause-another-ribbon
 
 

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I am in a bit of a pickle. First of all, I’ve had doubts about my sexual orientation for several years now. I quite honestly don’t know where I stand. I’ve over-analyzed and chewed on the problem so much that it’s hard to be attracted to anybody anymore. I was “straight” throughout high school, then it began to be confusing. I’ve become pretty androgynous and girls fall for me more than guys. My relationships (heterosexual, until recently) have lasted a few months at most and been, well, disastrous. Things would suddenly, unexplainably, get claustrophobic and I would have an urge to run for the woods. And so I would walk away after an awkward break-up and feel disgusted with myself and swear never to do it again.
At the moment I’m sort of dating a girl. We’ve been seeing each other for a bit now, and there’s definitely a connection– we have a lot in common. And she’s sympathetic and so much more REAL than any of the guys I’ve dated. She is down to earth, genuine, beautiful, strong. However, she feels more for me than I for her. She’s the one who originally asked me out. Could it be that I like her because she likes me? I’m afraid that I am using her. I’m afraid that because I want to figure myself out I’m ending up playing with her feelings. How am I supposed to ever know if I am a lesbian if I don’t end up using somebody along the way? I feel awful.

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